Tomorrow
by ShenLong1
Summary: You should always let the one you love know how much you love them as tomorrow it may be to late. 3 4, Sap, angst Shonen-ai, POV, song fic


Disclaimer: I don't own the G boys, I just borrow them from time to time to play with and return them a lot happier...... honest. Also I do not own the song "If Tomorrow Never Comes" it belongs to Ronan Keating and all rights are his. I just borrowed it for this fic.

Pairings : 3+4

Warnings: Sap, major angst, Shonen-ai, POV

Rating: PG I guess.

_// Denotes Song Lyrics//_

Notes: I have changed a couple of minor words in the song to fit this fic, namely her to him.

WINNER OF BEST ONE SHOT MISSION ANIME FIC COMP 2002

WINNER BEST SONG FIC OISHII FIC COMP 2003

WINNER OF THE BEST RED HERRING AWARD MEDIA MINER BIG ASS FIC COMP 2003

WINNER BEST ANGST THE VENTILATION SHAFT TASUKU FALL 2004 FIC COMP

"Tomorrow"

Aug. 2002 ShenLong

_// Sometimes late at night I lay awake and watch him sleeping._

_He is lost in peaceful dreams so I turn out the light_

_And lay there in the dark. //_

I watch the steady rise and fall of your chest as the oxygen is drawn in and the carbon dioxide is expelled. The pale moonlight filters through the curtains to cast her silvery glow upon your skin. Your face looks so calm and relaxed in sleep. I allow my eyes to wander the expanse of your body, noting the dips and curves that define the sleek muscle beneath the lightly tanned exterior. The sheet is draped loosely over your hips preventing my visual exploration from continuing and so I use my imagination and memory for the remainder of your body. My eyes feast upon the expanse of your hairless chest noting the small silvery lines here and there, evidence of scars long healed. We all carry them, but to me you will always be flawless.

I travel back up to your face taking in the ridges of your cheekbones, firm set of your jaw and soft gentle lips. Those lips...... How sweet they taste, like drinking from the very well of life itself. I can never get enough of those lips. Each kiss you bestow is like sampling the finest of wines and I remained drunk on the taste. Your eyes flutter under the prison of their lids as a gentle dream takes a hold.

_// And the thought crosses my mind, If I never wake in the morning._

_Would he ever doubt the way I feel about him in my heart? //_

I continue to gaze as you sleep on oblivious to the world around you. There was a time when you would not have slept so peacefully. None of us did. Always keeping alert for the smallest of signs but now there is no need. The dreams that grace your mind are no longer tormented and twisted but peaceful. Together we chased the nightmares away. Just being there to hold and soothe was enough to send the horrors back from whence they came until they no longer ventured forth. I loved you for that. It was the first of many little things that while they held no meaning for others, they made the world of difference to us.

I have lost count of the number of times I have held you and comforted when the need arose, just as you did for me. The gentle words calming the soul and allowing us to heal. I guess you understood without my words just how much a part of me you had become.

_// If tomorrow never comes,_

_Will he know how much I love him?_

_Did I try in every way,_

_To show him everyday_

_He's my only one? //_

From the first moment we met as we surrendered to each other I knew there was something different about you. Always quiet, the need for speech unnecessary as our communication took place through eyes and body. I could read you as well as you could read me. The gentle sounds of the flute and violin took away the need for a vocabulary of words and replaced it with a symphony of sounds that we both understood.

As time progressed we grew closer. The missions and the battles that were a daily occurrence only served to strengthen our bond. The ever present danger deepened my respect for you as a fellow soldier and I always felt safe with you by my side. Knowing you were there for me as I was for you entwined our lives in a way I never thought was possible.

_// And if my time on earth were through,_

_He must face this world without me,_

_Is the love I gave him in the past,_

_Gonna be enough to last,_

_If tomorrow never comes? //_

I smile gently as I recall our relationship. Over time spent together we learnt of our likes and dislikes, loves and hates and shared more than we cared to admit. In many ways it was like coming home to me. No matter where we may have been you knew before I did what it was I wanted and needed and were there to offer.

The first time we made love will remain forever in my heart. You knew I was inexperienced and unsure and yet you never made me feel inadequate. Instead you taught me, taught me the many ways in which pleasure could be experienced and enjoyed and when we did take that last step it was as if I had finally become whole. You took my virginity with a tenderness only you could give. Gentle fingers that caressed my skin raising me to heights I had never dreamed possible and when you entered me and we became one together, the part of me that had been missing returned and my mind, body and soul was forever locked with yours to become complete......Locked forever in time.

The gift I gave you of my body was the only way I knew how to show you the trust and love I felt and you returned that trust and love with your own. While I may have shared pieces of myself with many others there was only one who truly held the ownership of my heart.

_// Cause I've lost love once in my life, Who never knew how much I loved them._

_Now I live with the regret that my true feelings for them_ _never were revealed. //_

When I lost my father to the assassins I thought my world had shattered and yet you came to me and offered me your strength. I had strived for so long to make him see me and accept me for who I am.... not what he wanted me to be . And while I agreed with a lot of his ideas I could also see that the fighting was necessary. I didn't want to fight... none of us did, but still he could not see that. Your arms held me and your eyes told me all I needed to know.

_// So I made a promise to myself, to say each day how much he means to me._

_And avoid that circumstance where there's no second chance_

_To tell him how I feel. //_

That's when I realized just how fragile life can be. I knew then that I had to let you know in as many ways as possible that I cared for you. Somehow you sensed this and played along with my insecurities and indulged me, always loving me back in your own quiet way. It was not enough for me to give just my body and heart... I wanted to give you my soul.

The morning has greeted us with her glowing rays, sweeping the shadows of the night away to leave a sparkling fresh new day to be explored. I listen to the shower as the water runs over your skin washing away the tendrils of sleep, I stare out and hear the rejoicing of the birds as they serenade the new day. You return and dress in your customary jeans and turtleneck of green. You know how much I love the color green. It matches your eyes and so you wear it as often as you can in silent tribute to that fact. This is just one of the many little things you do to honor me in your own way.

_// If tomorrow never comes,_

_Will he know how much I love him?_

_Did I try in every way,_

_To show him every day,_

_That he's my only one? //_

I watch as you pour the coffee, strong and black. I used to tease you about that, claiming I could stand my spoon up in it as it was so thick and rich. You took the teasing in good faith but I noted you always made mine that little bit weaker. I study your profile once more as you work your way through the plate of eggs and toast. Gone are the boyish looks that so enraptured me, replaced by the fine planes of manhood. The jaw angled a little more and the small amount of puppy fat that dared to show replaced by the muscle of a young man. The grace however still remains, as does that mop of hair that refused to be tamed. Secretly I am glad. That hair that defied all attempts to control it is one of the many things that endeared me to you, the way it falls across your face, shadowing one eye, hiding and protecting yet inviting me to come forth and find the secrets if I dare.

And I dared.

_// And if my time on earth were through,_

_He must face this world without me,_

_Is the love I gave him in the past_

_Gonna be enough to last,_

_If tomorrow never comes? //_

I watch as you leave the house and head down the path into the forest that surrounds our home. Silently I follow. I know where you are headed and while I do not wish to intrude on your privacy I cannot let you go alone. The single track through the trees is well worn, a testimony to the number of times that your feet have passed upon its surface. What do you think of my love as you make your way through the filtered light?.... Past battles?.... The circus?.... The other pilots?.... I guess I will never know. I care too much for you to pry, although I know you would surely have told me had I the courage to have asked.

The trees give way to a broad expanse of meadow and I stay in the shadows as you move gracefully through the gently waving grass to the large oak that stands tall and proud. You pause for a moment and look carefully around you. I guess the soldier in us never leaves.

I watch as you drop to one knee and reach out one trembling hand to caress the stone slab that lies at the base of that majestic tree. Unable to stand and bear witness to your torment any longer I ease closer until I am standing beside you. Unheeding of my presence you continue to stare in silent sorrow as your fingers trace the words etched upon the stone.

Quatre R. Winner.

Born 18th January AC 180.

Died 24th December AC 195.

Always my angel.

A tear escapes and traces a path down your cheek to fall and shatter into tiny diamonds upon the stone. My heart breaks as I share your pain, and so like the seraphic being I was so often likened to in life, and have now become in death, I do the only thing left to me that I can do for you. Even though you are completely unaware of my presence, softly I unfold my wings and tenderly bring them around your sobbing form to embrace us both within the aura of my love.

_// So tell that someone that you love,_

_Just what you're thinking of,  
__  
If tomorrow never comes. //_

~ Owari ~


End file.
